Deep Thoughts with Jack Handy...err I mean Jenny

Seeing as how I'm nearly 22 and by myself half way across the world I think it is the perfect opportunity to reflect on some of the things I have learned in these past 5 months...so without further ado...life's lessons on the road with yours truely...Jenny:
1. It takes your whole world being turned upside down to really find out what matters to you. I came to New Zealand with the intent to save the environment what I was left with was a couple of months spent mowing someone's lawn and an abstract almost artistic arrangement of bruises painted across my body--from the hard labor you ask? nope, more like the countless times I tripped in my wellies or fell on my bum attempting to jump off a cliff into the swimming hole.
With my program cut three months short I found myself scrambling to try and figure out what to do next--as much as I like spontaneity, when you've spent the last 2 months working 8 hour days with total structure it can be hard to enter a world of unstructured freedom. So, I did what any self respecting 21 year old would do I called my parents. Over the next couple of months I tossed aside my dreams of being the Rachel Carson of my generation and instead did my part in contributing to global warming by keeping the petrol flowing. I learned a lot about myself during that road trip across the south island. I learned that early on being cast into the role of nature girl dictated a lot of my future decisions including majors, summer internships, etc. but what I didn't realize at the time was saving the environment wasn't what got me fired up, rather it was something I respected but could never truly imagine myself doing...the idea of being tied to some oil derrick in chains chanting for the the end of oil exploration and drilling in the antartic--it just wasn't me. Heck I sometimes leave the light on when I leave a room...so me being an environmentalist just seemed out of the question. Life lesson one: be open to change.
2. I have always been a thinker--something my mom and dad could never really relate to. I find it amazing that at times my dad can just stare off into space and literally let his mind go blank whereas my mom somehow lacked the cerebral axon for thought...instead of inner dialogue she constantly engages in a 'thought pattern' she likes to call the running of the mouth. Whereas my head is constantly a chatter--I find it hard to really be in the moment at times because I am constantly visually assessing my surroundings, taking in the sounds, making assesments, reviewing my life...thoughts just like my life never seem to stand still they are constantly playing and replaying in my head--to nauseum at times. So, you can just imagine how fun the prospect of traveling by myself for months on end would seem. But the more time I spent on the trail, sitting on beaches, exploring museums, getting lost in a good book or journaling away in some cafe the quieter the voices got--for the first time I was channeling all of my energy into positive outlets. Life became less about trying to make sense of everything that has ever happened to me and all the decisions for good or bad made in my life and more about moving forward. I used to think that I couldn't really move forward in my life until I had discovered the cure for cancer, cured world hunger and designed for new york's fashion week...funny thing is I never really understood until now...none of that stuff can happen without paying your dues and the groundwork being paved and that as long as I kept waiting for things to happen life would continue to pass me by.
3. Life lesson 3: nothing and I mean nothing is as good as connecting to others. I used to think the 5 minute conversations you had with strangers or the 5 hour long talks you had with a friend arguing over the impact of 'saved by the bell' on our generation is what fostered closeness...boy was I wrong. These last few months I have taken a good hard and at times painful look at myself and realized connections are built upon 'I' statements and joined together by understanding. The more one can level and be real even utter the hated psych 101 'i feel' statements the less guesswork that needs to be done in learning about one another. During this experience I have had some of my highest highs and my lowest lows, but somewhere along the way I stumbled upon myself. Maybe spending months on end completely out of your comfort zone can do that to someone, who knows...regardless I learned and continue to learn that what defines me is how I think and feel not the clothes I wear, the job I aspire to have or the people I know. It's that damn inner beauty everyone is always talking about--it's those people who you pass on the street you might not even utter one word to, but there is something about them that makes you smile, makes you want to be around them--they beam a type of goodness and comfort in their own skin--something we all want yet continue to fall into that trap that material possessions and superficial lifestyles will bring us closer to--never has and never will. Lesson three: inner beauty is where it's at.
...well, that's it for now too beautiful of a day to be kept inside..for all of you or rather maybe just my mom and dad at this point who continue to read my ramblings...god love you. Love you all!