Jenny's Trek Down Under

After a two day tour of Kangaroo Island I had gotten to the point where seeing a kangaroo was just as exciting as finding a starbucks in a busy town centre--jaded... maybe just a bit--the same goes for seals. My tour guide was a really friendly 40 something year old, sun bleached she-man (difficult to tell at times...whether girl/guy) beer gut sporting Kangaroo Island native. All I can really say is Alcoholics Anonymous--her first words as she greeted us were I'm still hungover and I work in a vineyard when I'm not giving tours. I think I learned more about local brewing practices and which pubs on the sparsely populated island had the cheapest drinks then I did about well, the bush and the mammals. But alas I had a good time and got on really well with her and the others--finding once again that humor is the best breaker of tension--and that people can be way too serious at times--so again as long as your willing to be a little fiesty, poke some fun at yourself and be in the moment--the others will follow--just like 'field of dreams.'

There are no words to recount my first tour--except that it left a lasting impression on me--and for well, frankly anyone who comes into contact with my guide Bill. Bill, such a respectable normal name...who would have thought...wait who are we kidding the first thing I think of when I hear the name Bill is sex fiend--in this case again another Bill follows in the footsteps of our past president. I was greeted by an overly enthusiastic 65+ Mr. Magoo lookalike--claiming to be my tour guide for the day. Seeing as this was my first real tour I expected everyone to high five me as I made my way down the aisle of the bus, cheering me on and brimming with excitement over the amazing scenery we would see and the lifelong friendships that would form--okay so maybe I watch a bit too much Disney Channel because my bus was about 12 people 9 of which didn't speak a lick of English and the other 3 were so hungover that unless I was a pint of Tui I wasn't going to be making any real impression on them during those presunrise hours. So, alas I was forced to take the front seat of the bus...the one smack down right next to Bill.
The tour was two days and left from Melbourne, spent a night in the Grampians (a mountain range) and then the next day ended in Adelaide. The first day we made our way along the Great Ocean Road--which supposedly took 15 years of long days and shitty weather to construct. The road wraps around the coast offering up jaw dropping views of the coastline, endless blue waters and dazzling sandy beaches. Right off the bat I was impressed by the shear vastness of this country in comparison to New Zealand--it really feels like the supersized version--even the sky seems endless--peering up at the clouds you feel like you are looking straight into the heavens. The weather could not have been any more spot on--with a gentle breeze, sun filled skies and the bluest of the blues contrasting with the fiery orangeness of the rocks. We made our way along the scenic drive stopping at the 12 apostles ( a rock formation,) the london bridge ( another rock formation that at one time looked like the famous bridge--but due to one night of adulterous passion and a rock slide the bridge no longer exists in it's original format) we did a bush walk in the rainforest where we took a moment to listen to the silence of the land--the kind of silence that can seem almost frightening because you know if there wasn't that slight trickle of rainwater dancing on the forest canopy there would be absolutely no noise penetrating the forest.
Throughout the course of the ride our leader tried to make joke after joke, but they all seemed to fall on deaf ears--so after awhile like any normal person he began to tell me about all the crazy sexual things that have happened on his tour bus...let me just say I'm a very open person and thought I had heard just about everything--but dear lord where is the holy water when you need it--my ears are still ringing with the tales of sex on that bus. If that wasn't enough he painted a stereotypical image of the aboriginals as lazy, obes alcoholics that are constantly seeking free handouts from the government--apparently in the northern territory in Australia alcoholism is such a problem for the natives that they are banned from buying alcohol up there. And the final icing on the cake was his kind offer from the heart...heart my ass to try and help me sort out any problems I may have or may have had in the past--in other words he offered me free counseling because he said he had turned many peoples lives around--bringing a heroin addict from the streets to a job...a job at McDonalds mind you. Okay I am very much skimming the surface here...but let's just say skeevy old man.
The next day was spent watching kangaroos frolick along a golf course, trying to spot the drug induced sleeping koala in the eucalyptus trees, going on a night hike guided by torch to spot kangaroos, baby joeys and wallabees during their waking hours.
The drunk people did talk finally and the non-english speaking well...we made out just fine with hand signals--all and all the people were really friendly and I learned an even greater appreciation for my mom and the work it takes to make sure people are having a good time and keeping people entertained even if it means taking the piss out of yourself once...or maybe a couple million times.
...okay two more tours to recount...this might take awhile...stay tuned. currently I'm in Katherine and will be doing a boat cruise and hike in the gorges tomorrow then taking a greyhound that night to Darwin where I will leave the following morning for a 3 day tour of kakadu and litchfield national park.

Walking the streets of Melbourne can sometimes feel like you're walking along the pages of Vogue...okay Vogue 6 months ago. Fashion here in the southern hemisphere is 6 months behind in terms of America and the rest of the world...wait who are we kidding America is the world...or at least that's what my 5 months traveling would have me to believe. So, behind the oversized sunglasses, leggings, umpire waisted shirts and flashy handbags lies a nation of girls subsisting on coffee, water and krispy creme doughnuts. Ozzie girls give new meaning to the American size zero...after spending months in New Zealand surrounded by healthy, active men and women it was a real culture shock coming here. Not only are the girls the size of my pinky finger, but the guys as well have seemed to bought into the whole coked out -heroine -kate moss- waif inspired look--frankly it's rather disturbing. Although America by no means is a role model when it comes to healthy body image, the thin or rather undernourished, underweight prepubescent boy bodies that crowd the city streets have become recognized as normal here...while girls that might be the American equivalent of a size 6 tug at their shirts and conceal their bodies in less than flattering sweaters to hide their apparent 'obesity.'
Another thing I can't help but notice is that Australia should be called 'land of the preggers' instead of the 'land down under' I mean seriously never in my life have I come across more beaming, fresh faced belly button poking out M.I.T's (moms in training.) But then again this shouldn't surprise me considering the shear amount of coupledom that seems to be bursting at every corner. It's funny how in tune you become to your surroundings and everything around you when you have spent the last 5 months or so traveling by yourself. I can honestly say that I have surpassed the level of 'people watcher' and moved to the elitist level of 'people observer' not to be confused with stalker thank you very much. The ordinary images of everyday life seem to stick in my mind in a way they never used to before--the sweet innocent little 6 year old asian girl dressed in hot pink from head to toe and high heels a few sizes too big being swept into the arms of a doting father who for that moment seems immune to the nagging reminders of a busy lunch hour restaurant business--for that moment it's just him and his daughter--these are the things, the banalities of life that in the past I would easily overlook, but now pass through my head, linger and bring a smile to my face.
It's hard to believe that in a month's time I will be back home in Annapolis. I mean how do you make the shift from 6 months of complete freedom, no real responsibilities and a sense of independence so few my age are ever really granted to school, deadlines, responsibilities and picking up snicker's poop in the backyard? Okay who are we kidding I never really picked up his poop, but rather strategically placed leaves in all the right places--and yes my parents were very appreciative of this discovery a few weeks in after I left. Although I'm preparing myself for what might be a rough transition there are some tools that I'm coming back with that I think will help me navigate life a bit easier.
1. An actual craving to be intellectually stimulated--crazy I know. Eventhough I have read more in these past 5 months then I have in my entire life (that is if you subtract all the US, Cosmo and People magazines) I have really craved using my brain. It's funny I don't think I would ever thought that my time abroad would cause this kind of response--but it has--and I'm actually excited to learn for the first time in well...ever. Although I'm coming back to a senior year where I will somehow tackle my whole major in one year...what once seemed daunting now seems kind of exciting--that is if I ever really find out what Development Sociology is...and keep your fingers crossed I actually like it.
2. A mastery of 'shooting the shit.' Traveling perfects your ability to talk with just about anyone on just about any topic regardless of language barrier. I mean there have been many a nights where I spent a good couple hours 'talking' to Japanese tourists through overt hand gestures and lots of pointing at maps and of course plenty of smiles. I have talked politics which I know just as much about as I do quantum mechanics...that has something to do with that 80s show 'quantum leap' no? I have talked about farming, the environment, life's deeper meaning like if you were stranded on a deserted island and could only bring one member of the 'full house' cast who would it be and why? like you even have to ask...the olsen twins...because well, the two of them put together just about equal one person...so it's like a 2 for 1 freebie!
3. Independence. So, I admit it I used to be one of those people who the idea of sitting alone in a restaurant or going to the movies by myself seemed to scream out social suicide. These last couple of months I have gradually made the transition from table for two cluttered in books, magazines, journals (basically anything and everything to make me look busy and occupied to the outside world) but seated one...to me, a table, a nice piping hot cup of joe and the ease and comfort of not giving a shit about what others might think as I linger, take in my surrounding and stalk...err I mean people watch.
So, these next couple of weeks will see me camping, coming face to face with koalas, kangaroos, the legendary ayres rock and hopefully and aboriginal or two. But before I forget another thing to take note of...the other day I was walking around some botanical garden and saw this mysterious creature peering straight at me while most of its body remained hidden by a thick branch. Now, growing up where squirrels and birds are common tree dwellers I was intrigued...who am I kidding I was pretty damn excited to discover what this mystery creature might be. I made my way closer to the tree, creeping along pretending I was in the wild safaris of africa stealthily keeping my camera out of view as I snapped picture after picture of this furry wide eyed 'taileypoe.' Excited about my discovery of some deformed koala or siamese twin wallabe I excitedly show the pictures to some hostelmates..waiting for the 'ohhs and ahhs' to ensue...okay so it took a while...in fact they looked at me with a look of bewilderment and then proceeded to ask why I took a picture of a possum considering I had just spent 5 months in New Zealand...what was so special about New Zealand's finest roadkill? Lesson learned....wait to share amazing life altering animal discoveries until I get back home with people who might just might accept my blurry pictures as proof that the Lochness monster does in fact exist!

I spent a couple days in Wellington and found myself wishing I had decided to crash there for longer instead of Christchurch. But alas life's too short for regrets--so I made the most of my time. Wellington is not only the capital of New Zealand it has stoplights. Okay this is a big deal after spending a couple months in the south island where what looked like a 'big town' on a map more often than not translated into a cafe and a loo if you were lucky--so you can only imagine my excitement to be in a town...with not just one loo or cafe but heaps and heaps--maybe thousands to choose from. I spent my days doing the obligatory touristy things like touring the historic sites, visiting parliament, aimless window shopping and checking out a couple of galleries. One afternoon while eating lunch in some city park I was greeted by about 10 prepubescent boys decked out in tracksuits with 'make some noise' emblazoned on the back of their hoodies. The boys did their best breakdancing to the likes of jay-z and oddly enough random clips from the theme song of 'inspector gadget'...but really it just reminded me of the kind of dancing that takes place at 6th grade dances...in other words plenty of side step shuffling, random offbeat clapping, the occasional pelvic thrust and plenty of fist pumping...what really struck me well was two things...one how badass can these boys really think they are wearing matching pink bandanas around their necks like cowboys and two why the hell was their a kid wearing a mask straight out of insane clown possee--I'm talking bloody white jason style type mask--either way I was amused.
The main 'cultural' attraction in Wellington is probably the te papa museum which is a 6 level interactive hub of history, art and countless ways to entertain the 8 and under crowd. Whatever it was the day I spent at the museum--I was not in learning mode, finding myself staring at pictures and walking closer to the prints then stepping back a ways...pretending like I was actually contemplating the bigger meaning behind a canvas with a black dot in the center--really I was just wondering how the hell are people enjoying this. Instead of learning about the history of the maoris I found myself spending most of my time in the children sections of the museum--you'll be proud of me to know I figured out who killed the crazy mad scientist and no it wasn't the transvestite looking environmentalist. Also I made many a kids wait in line as I spent a good amount of time perfecting my computer generated new zealand bird--getting to choose feet, wings, etc. Okay so maybe sophistication is not my middle name, but whatever your only 12...'cough' 22 once.
I arrived in Melbourne, Australia a couple days ago and could not have felt anymore like the country mouse coming to visit the city. Honestly, having to look both ways before crossing the street has just been unheard of these last couple of months--but apparently that's what city life calls for--so looking left and right it was. I'm definitely a Melbourne kind of girl--if I thought wellington was a cultural mecca of sorts...boy was I wrong Melbourne is a much bigger and better Wellington! The only downsides so far to this city are the constant rain, the fact that museums are not free and more importantly that I'm not a millionaire. I have definitely gotten a case of the 'I wants' walking the streets with so many shiny pretty looking thinga-mabobs screaming out to be bought...I mean everybody needs their very own ugg boots with painted images of koalas that actually make koala noises...okay I'm not that bad...tacky...but exciting...no? The Queen Victoria Market is like the farmer's lady market in Bethesda but a million times bigger and better...with stand after stand of fresh local fruit, veg, meat, cheese, bakeries and random chochkies of sorts--aka the boots. My first impressions of australia were that it felt much more familiar and like the United States then I was expecting--whether it was the streets lined with 7-11's, the ipod toting professional, the constant buzzing of cell phones...but really it was just the energy of life that felt like home more than anything else.
I had no idea how hard it would be to plan my trip in australia in my time allotted. Apparently unlike New Zealand objects in mirror are not closer than they appear...in fact cities that look like an hour drive away could easily be 24 hours away--crazy I know. So, trying to find the most economic way to see the country while at the same time not feeling too rushed proved challenging and ended with me spending a good 3 hours in the travel agent's office...but alas I walked away with the next 26 days planned...the last 10 or so I'm going to wing it as I make my way down the east coast to sydney. In the meantime I will be spending the majority of my days in the outback--which is much more my style. I'm excited for the weeks to come and to give control over to someone else for a bit and actually act like i'm on holiday--before I head back to the states and back into the real world...well, as real as living on a college campus can be.